What’s the worst part about dating in 2016? Ghosting. It's the latest coined term for when someone ceases all forms of communication with you without an explanation. It’s the ultimate f*boy (and f*girl) tool worldwide.
Last year, one of the most popular conversations floating around peak-uncuff season (summer) was about the New York Times article, "Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment”. The compiled collection of quotes from people who have personally experienced and/or participated in the act, resulted in over 340 comments on the NYT website and nearly 1,000 comments on Facebook.
And apparently, most of them were millennials. According to Mashable, the dating app PlentyOfFish found that nearly 80% of men and women aged 18-33 reported having been dumped by way of ghosting.
Below, Demi Lovato even admits that she was once the culprit:
And Charlize Theron was accused of doing it to Sean Penn last year (although she refutes the claim). The controversy surrounding ghosting is often about the reasons people choose to do it. To be frank, if it isn't to get out of an abusive or life-threatening relationship, your excuses are null and void.
In case you’re completely oblivious to why it’s wack AF, here’s a very short list to help you understand.
Ghosting Is Immature
Leaving someone in the dark about a decision you’ve made that affects the lives of both of you is flat-out immature. The thing about dating is that we’re all out here putting our hearts on the line— even The Creep Squad have been hurt at one point or another. Keep up that good karma, break through those middle school habits, and be honest. If you’re not sure what to say, do it to the best of your ability.
Ghosting Can Be A Sign Of Emotional Instability
Particularly if you two have surpassed the “casual” stage and it’s much more defined as exclusively dating and/or committed, there are certain responsibilities that goes along with that agreement. The least of them all is that you communicate your thoughts and feelings as openly and effectively as possible. Even if you decide to bail for a reason you’re not comfortable disclosing— believe it or not— being upfront about that reality is still better than leaving the person in the complete dark. And if you truly just don’t want to do it because you hate expressing your emotions, that my friend, is called emotional instability. We learned the power of “talking out our feelings” in Kindergarten, remember?
Ghosting Causes Unnecessary Friction
Heres the thing: you never know how someone’s going to take being rejected. Even more-so, you never know how they will react after realizing they were rejected, ignored, and essentially tossed away like Lady Gaga's meat dress.
If you’ve never been ghosted then let me tell you in layman’s terms: your sh*t may get f*ed up. I mean, your literal property, your physical body, your ability to live a stalker-free life. And who would truly be to blame? Relationships are complicated enough. What happens when you mix emotions with a broken heart and an unanswered text for over two weeks? Possible revenge.
Ghosting Is The Antithesis Of Playing It Cool
The few times I’ve grilled friends who’ve ghosted, the same assumption presented itself: that they were just “playing it cool”. In reality, you’re actually doing the exact opposite.
Slowly fading out of someone’s life isn’t “playing it cool”. Remember, silence is louder than words. And as that silence grows louder, sure, the person gets the hint, but the tension between you two can get intense. Imagine what bumping into them in public would be like. Hint: no damn crystal stair.
If you’re truly out here posing as an adult who values communication, emotional stability, and physical and mental health— do us all a favor and just keep it real. I’d much rather know that I unknowingly did something that was a deal-breaker for you than to be left to my own thoughts, guessing. In the end, it’s best for both parties. Mmmkay? Thanks, bye.