That Awkward Moment When You Meet Your Ex’s New Girl

How to deal when you meet the next girl

By Sowmya Krishnamurthy

Can the ex-girl be friends with the next girl? It’s a question that has stumped philosophers and divided relationship experts since the invention of love. A breakup is bad enough, but meeting and befriending your replacement? Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose somehow put their differences—and shared history with Kanye West--aside and posed for a selfie together. Maybe you can too. Here’s how to deal in that awkward moment that you meet your ex’s new girl.

Keep Calm

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. That’s what your ex is expecting of you—to freak out. The best way to deal is to keep your cool. Don’t let him see you sweat, kid. Now is not the time to bring up the fact that you thought he was your future husband or that you’d gladly take him back.


When you meet the new girl, you’ll probably be at loss for words--or the words you really want to use are so mean and expletive-filled, that they’re not appropriate in public. Instead, just smile. It’s a great way to be friendly and more importantly, it gives you a few extra seconds to gain your composure.

Don’t Run Away

It’s tempting to make a beeline for the nearest exit when you spot your ex, especially if the breakup is still fresh. If he’s seen you, you’re out of luck. Don’t run away. Don’t act like you don’t speak English. You have to (wo)man up!

Don’t Introduce Yourself as his Ex

Depending on your ex and how much trash he talks, he’s probably already told this new girl all about you (and how crazy you are or how you can’t let go.) She may even have stalked you on social media (hey, we’ve all been there.) Don’t feed into his Godzilla-sized ego by introducing yourself as the “ex-girlfriend.” You’re so much more than that.

Don’t Size Her Up

Okay, she’s cute. But is she as cute as you? She’s a good dresser. Not as good as you, right? It’s SO tempting to roll your eyes and size up the new girl. RESIST THE URGE. It’s petty. Plus, if the new girl happens to be a stone cold fox, it’ll make you hate yourself.

Don’t Attack Her

Sorry. You have to play nice. No insults or throwing pig’s blood on her allowed.

Don’t Trade War Stories

Sometimes everything goes amazing. The new girl is awesome and you’re genuinely happy for your ex. Still, it’s way too early-slash-creepy to become bffs. There’s no need for you to exchange phone numbers or selfies or to trade war stories (“Omg you do that during sex? Me too!”) Meeting the new girl is awkward enough. Keep it cordial and keep it moving. If a friendship does happen against all odds, let it occur several months—or years--later. Or never.

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