The Most Confusing Texts Guys Send (...and What He Really Means)

Newsflash: "Hey" doesn't mean "Hey" 

By Sowmya Krishnamurthy

When that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing… Well, maybe for Drake. For the rest of us, we pour over his texts at brunch, dissect them to death with our girls and still have no clue what they mean. Is he dumping you or putting a ring on it? Here are the most confusing texts you’ll receive and what he really means.


What you think it means: “Hey there! I’m totally thinking about you. You’re the best”

What he really means: “Hey. I’m bored (or busy) and have nothing of substance to say. I hope you can carry this conversation”

*Insert Emoji*

What you think it means: “I’m adorable and love our playful banter”

What he really means: “I communicate like a 5-year-old. Wah wah! Where’s my juicebox?”

“Send me a pic”

What you think it means: “OMG you’re sooo sexy. Send me a nude pic”

What he really means: “Send me a nude pic. I’ll probably share it with all of my friends. If we break up, it’s going straight on a creepy, message board.”

“Netfllix & Chill?”

What you think it means: “I’m so sweet that I want a quiet night at home with you.”

What he really means: “I’m trying to smash with the least amount of time, money and effort invested. Also, I can wear my house shoes right?”

“Why are you always mad?"

What you think it means: “Huh? I don’t get you or your feelings. Let’s talk about it for a million hours.”

What he really means: “You’re insane. I don’t understand your feelings because I’m a guy. You can explain them to me but I still won’t get it.”

“Sorry something came up”

What you think it means: “I’m dumping you and I’m seeing my side piece instead. Proceed to cyber stalk me for the rest of the night.”

What he really means: “Something did come up. Take a chill pill.”

“I’m not looking for a relationship right now”

What you think it means: “I just haven’t found the perfect girl…until I met YOU!”

What he really means: “No, really. I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”

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