Let’s get physical! Summer is ending but don’t think that you can chuck that bikini and start inhaling pumpkin spice lattes just yet. You want to keep it right, tight and Instagram-ready! Lucky for us, celebrities, trainers and self-help gurus are buying into a ton of fitness trends. Spoiler alert: Most of them are stupid and don’t work. When all is said and done, the real “secret” to staying in shape is good old-fashioned healthy eating and regular exercise. Sucks, we know. But try and suspend disbelief, sip that $10 green juice and flex your calves as we break down our favorite, ridiculous diets and fads.
1. Waist Training
The hourglass is back. Celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Sofia Vergara get that coveted figure-eight shape by squeezing themselves into the torture device known as the waist trainer, corset or faja. Suck it in and lace up. Instantly, hourglass figure! Unfortunately, waist-training is inaccurate. A six-pack never came from a waist-trainer. Smushing yourself into a corset weakens your abs (the trainer acts like a crutch) and not to be Captain Obvious, but the minute you take it off, the illusion is over! The levels of cinching have gotten so out of control that they mirror the Victorian Era, when women would literally faint from being unable to breathe. Look no further than recent Khloe Kardashian’s extreme Instagram selfie. Okay, you’re uncomfortable, can’t really breathe and are doing possible irreparable damage to your internal organs, but damn girl, you look… good?
2. Beyonce Cleanse
Beyonce has one of the most enviable bodies in Hollywood. She invented bootylicious for God’s sake! When the diva needed to slim down for her role in Dreamgirls, she famously went on the Master Cleanse, which many fans now call the “Beyonce Cleanse.” Here’s how it works: 1. Drink lemon juice with maple syrup and cayenne pepper. 2. Drink six to 12 glasses of this gross concoction instead of food. 3. Take a laxative before bed. 4. Repeat for 10 days. So in other words, lose weight by not eating. Beyonce may have done this and dropped 20 pounds, but she’s an A-lister with access to top doctors and nutritionists who probably helped her through it. Others have reported fatigue, nausea, dizziness and dehydration as sexy side effects.
If you’re not into starving yourself on spicy lemonade like Beyonce, why not try detox tea from your favorite reality stars? Christina Milian, Kourtney Kardashian, Snookie and Draya are just some of the celebrities clearly paid to drink all about that Lyfe Tea life. The ingredients don’t read all that groundbreaking. Basically, you’re paying to drink green tea in a pink water bottle.
4. Squat Challenge
Baby got back! We <3 that curves are in. If you got it, flaunt it…and if you don’t got it, then do a million squats until you get it. That’s the basis of the ridiculously popular Squat Challenge. Yes ladies, in 30 days doing squats will get you from Kate Moss to Beyonce. Sorry to burst your bubble—no pun intended—but it won’t work. Spot training is a myth and getting a bodacious butt is largely pre-determined by genetics. If you tend to gain weight in your backside, then you could see some results but without cardio and good nutrition, you’re not going to look like J. Lo. Plus, doing hundreds of squats without rest opens you up to injured knees.
5. Plumping Cream
Curves in a jar. Snake oil comes in many forms and one of the stupidest fitness scams out there is plumping cream. Plumping creams and oils claim that you’ll get curves just by rubbing this on your skin. No. This is not a joke. Kylie Jenner has been bragging (allegedly not for cash) that PureLeef cream has given her enhanced breasts and a bigger butt. Unless that jar comes with a free trip to the plastic surgeon or a padded push-up bra, it won’t work. Save your money.