Is it just me, or is there an air of celebrity humbleness this year? Where are the meltdowns? Where are the broken glasses, coke-on-nose residue, and television interview outbursts? Maybe Hollywood has gone tame. Eerily, it feels too tame. Even with all of the Kardashian-Jenner and Azealia Banks news, how juicy can it really get when none of them even drink alcohol?
For the sake of schadenfreude, here are the top 9 celebrity meltdowns of all time.
1. . Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey has always been a quirky diva, but there probably hasn't been a more questionable time in her public history than the promo trail for the (horrible) movie Glitter in 2001. In a surprise visit, she popped up on Carson Daly at TRL with an ice cream truck, a strip tease, and an audible plea for therapy. "Every now and then, somebody needs some therapy, and today is that day for me," she said. "All I know is I just want one day off when I can go swimming and look at rainbows and eat ice cream. And maybe like learn how to ride a bicycle." She mumbled a few more things about rainbows and loving her fans, then wound up in the hospital days later for "extreme exhaustion" and a "physical and emotional breakdown." Surprisingly, that whole MTV Cribs fiasco didn't go down until an entire year later. Watch below.
2. . Martin Lawrence
If anyone can top a Mariah Carey meltdown, it's definitely Martin Lawrence. In 1997, the iconic comedian brandished a gun in the street, scaring tourists and onlookers nearby. Not to mention it was on Ventura Boulevard in Los Angeles-- a hot spot to say the least. Similarly, rumors about his erratic behavior began on the movie set of his now famous A Thin Line Between Love And Hate, where it was said he was taking psychotic drugs and having violent outbursts. By the time this incident rolled around, whatever was taking place had reached its height. He was arrested for gun possession and was sent to rehab for recovery. He also famously (and hilariously) talks about how it all went down in his stand-up comedy, RunTelDat, clearly following in the footsteps of his idol Richard Pryor.
3. . Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber is finally back on the upswing (minus that questionable tattoo he just got on his face), but he's still better off than he was just a few years ago. In probably the worst year the young buck can recall in his life, Bieber had a brutal breakup with Selena Gomez (who is still struggling to make everyone else forget about), an exhausting tour, an SNL gaffe, and even a public fainting spell. Among the most embarrassing of them had to be the scuffle he had-- with a photographer nonetheless-- that was caught on camera. In an attempt to get to his SUV, Bieber jutted out aggressively past a photographer who then yelled some obscene words at the Canadian, telling the "little moron" to go "back to America." Alright, then. Bieber then came out swinging, and had to be restrained by his very own body guard. It's hard out here for a heartthrob.
4. . Amanda Bynes
Sorry Amanda Bynes, girl, I didn't want to do it to you, but the levels of epic were just out of this world. After ditching her Nickelodeon fame for some more aspirational pursuits, she suddenly flipped one day and left everyone confused... and highly entertained. First, there were the tweets where she said some girl-are-you-sure-you-want-to-do-that things about Rihanna, and professed her (vagina's?) love for Drake. Then, there were the never-ending driving violations, including being caught throwing a bong out of her window in Manhattan. Well, nothing topped the moment she stripped off her pants, and intentionally started a fire in her neighbor's driveway. Of course all of these things led up to consistent court appearances, which made way for her infamous (re: hideous) collection of wigs. Seriously, I've never been happier to see a celeb recover like she did.
5. . Britney Spears
Every time I watch the amazing social media life that belongs to Chris Crocker, I can't help but wonder why Britney Spears hadn't befriended him in her time of need. We all remember this story, right? Do I really have to re-tell it? It was 2008. Britney was years out of an embarrassing breakup with Justin Timberlake (who publicly accused her of cheating in a hit single at the time). She had the fluke wedding with Kevin Federline (who turned out to be an asshole, reportedly), had two kids with him, and wound up in an ugly divorce battle. Then, she began partying (pantiless) with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (who I'll get to later). She ended up losing custody of her children (possibly because of that time she drove with her infant child on her lap), but that's wasn't the end. After being rushed from her home in a drug-induced daze of confusion, she infamously shaved her head and broke the windows of an SUV with an umbrella. Whew. That was a lot to even remember.
6. . George Michael
Hush your mouth! George Michael was an icon at one point in time... sort of. His post-disco dance pop hit single, "Faith" is still all the rage, I say! But there was a time when his faith had befallen him. While in North London, Michael was returning from a Gay Pride parade in 2010 when he drove into a Snappy Snaps store, and was arrested (yet again). He was charged with possession of cannabis and driving while unfit. It later came out that he was actually on a presciption drug at the time, which probably wasn't a good idea to mix with illegal drugs. Oh-- and it all went down on camera, too.
7. . Lamar Odom
We've all seen the unfortunate low point in the L.A. Clipper Lamar Odom's drug addiction, but nothing quite compares to the moments that led up to it, including his trade from the Lakers, his estranged marriage from Khloe Kardashian, and infidelity rumors. Welp, except for that one time he basically went ballistic (get it) on photographer Stefan Saada. The papparazo asked Odom about his love life, and he quite literally lost it. Lamar walked over to the photog's car and dumped all of his camera equipment into the middle of the street. But he wasn't done. He then took a crowbar and began smashing into another paparazzo's car. In an attempt to get rid of all the evidence, he took Stefan's then broken equiptment from the busy street, threw it into the back of his car, and drove off in a rage. Truly, I try to have some remorse for the paparrazi, but when you see people already going through a difficult time... maybe leave them alone? Then again, we wouldn't have these entertaining stories. It's truly a beautiful, f*cked up world.
8. . Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan also had her year. From drunk driving to late-night post-club photos of despair, Lindsay was quite the entertainment. And inbetween it all, there was also that car crash... into a tree, and a misdemeanor sticky fingers case that accused the star of stealing more than $100,000 in jewelry. Lo and behold, even after she had been sentenced (on several occasions), she continued to violate her probation. Finally, she spent 90 days in jail, with another 90 days in rehab afterwards, which was really her breaking point. Since then she's had a couple of questionable moments, but it seems like she's on the straight and narrow as far as she can steady the rope.
9. . Chris Brown
Chris Breezy has plenty of less-than-stellar moments (as we all know), but perhaps my personal favorite is that time he went on Good Morning America. If you have the fortune of having forgotten this story, here's what happened. Of course, it's a few years after the horrific Rihanna assault scandal, and poor old Chris was simply trying to move forward in his life. Let bygones be bygones, ya know? Well, the big bad Robin Roberts had the nerve to bring up this very obvious past-- which was relative to the very last time he appeared on the show-- and Chris became noticeably upset. I'm talking flared nostrils and all. But luckily, he was able to keep his composure... until he got to his dressing room. That's when he picked up a chair, smashed a window, and fled the studio, walking shirtless down Times Square. Just the thought alone brings me deep pleasure of laughter inside. Come on... ripping your t-shirt like the Hulk while walking down one of the most crowded cities in the most popular place in that city like a deer in headlights? Too good for TV.