We Asked Real Dudes: When Do You Know That She's The One?

The truth hurts.

By Sowmya Krishnamurthy

Are you The One? Hopeful romantics know that there’s nothing better than finding your soulmate. That love that makes your heart skip a beat, changes your life and has you rushing to the altar. As women, we usually know exactly when we’ve found our soulmate. We start picking out engagement rings in our heads and fantasizing about our future kids. But what about him? When do men know that you’re Ms. Right (versus Ms. Right Now)? Six months? A year? First sight? We asked real men to break guy code and tell us. Warning: The truth can hurt.


Age & Location: Dirty 30s, Atlanta
Occupation: Photographer
Relationship Status: Casual dating
"I know soon whether a girl has the potential to be my wife. After a week, maybe? I don’t know if I believe in soulmates but my current relationship is definitely not The One. I don’t think I’m her The One either. So, we’re kind of just killing time to be honest."


Age & Location: 35, Los Angeles
Occupation: Entertainment Industry Executive
Relationship Status: Casual dating
"I know whether I want to make a relationship official after about a month. I don’t understand why women freak out over having “the talk” about whether a relationship is official. I like you, you like me and we see each other all the time. That’s it. We are clearly official."


Age & Location: 28, San Francisco
Occupation: College Professor
Relationship Status: Married
"I don’t believe in jumping into relationships. I think friendships make for the best foundation. I was friends with my wife for over 10 years before we got married. Once we started dating, I knew immediately that I wanted to be with her and only her."


Age & Location: 44, Atlanta
Occupation: Freelance Entertainment Professional
Relationship Status: Single
"I definitely believe in soulmates; I just haven’t met mine yet. It’s a gut feeling. I usually know within a month, but I’ve dated women for years knowing that I had no intention of marrying them. As guys, sometimes we don’t want to have awkward confrontations and we’d rather date you even though we know in our hearts that this won’t go anywhere."


Age & Location: 32, Brooklyn
Occupation: Record Label Executive
Relationship Status: Serious relationship
"I know immediately whether a girl has wifey potential. I’ve been dating a girl for years and I know that there’s no way I’m going to marry her. To be honest (I sound like a total scumbag), I have a crush on my female best friend. The second that she’s available, I’m dumping my girlfriend. Just don’t tell her."
*Names have been changed

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