BGC 809 Recap: Yo Quiero Drama!

What’s up all? It’s your resident blogger Liz Out Loud! Disclaimer—even though I look all badass with my smile and sweater—I am not on the Bad Girls Club. But if there is ever a show called Let’s Talk about What Some Crazy Wild Women Just Did, then yes, sign me up!

Until such a program exists, I’m just going to pop some popcorn, sit back, and review the latest episode of the Bad Girls Club. Let’s begin, shall we?

The show opens up with a really interesting and unique scene: the twins applying makeup and flat ironing their hair. Never gets old apparently. Dani starts flipping out because some of her makeup is missing, and everyone knows how important her makeup is to her since she spends about three hours a day in front of her mirror. She thinks Erica took it, so she goes through Erica’s stuff. Our fave girl Elease turns into a little spy and plays double agent. After overhearing the twins talk smack, Elease runs over to Erica to tell her what they said. Erica totally denies that she stole the makeup, and then the twins get scared and change the subject. They reveal that they are going to tell Mimi that they broke her MARS chain along with Gia and Erica. Oh, you are so BAD. Not. Erica agrees with me. She’s all, whatever. They’re all bark and no bite, just like little Chihuahuas, except less cute.

That night, Amy and the twins go out. Emboldened by their absence, Elease draws Xs on Dani and Gabi’s pictures. It’s petty, sure, but after all she’s been put through I can’t really blame Elease. When the twins come home and see how their characters have been absolutely defamed, they start flipping the f out. They try and pull a Tanisha (sans the pots and pans) and start screaming and waking everyone up. Everyone remains calm while telling them to shut up. Their antics are not working. Gabi confronts Mimi who is trying to sleep and tells her that she broke her MARS necklace along with Gia and Erica. While Mimi is annoyed, you can tell she doesn’t even care that much anymore. She just wants to go to bed! The twins continue their tornado through the house, breaking glasses and screeching that they are going to make everyone’s life a living hell so watch out world. Love how they only have the courage to do this when everyone else is in bed. You rebels you!

The next morning, the twins are all, “no one tried to fight us because they are all LAME.” Uh, no girls, no one tried to fight you because they were asleep. At this point it’s pretty much the twins versus the house. It’s not even so much that people are mad at the twins; they are just tired of them.

But luckily—the Bad Girls Club producers save the day and the girls find a piñata outside the front door . . . they are going to Cabo for four days. Lucky bitches! Mimi, however, starts unraveling when she realizes she left her passport at home. She cries and becomes unhinged as she states that she’d rather go home to Miami than stay in the house alone. Why doesn’t she just ask her mom to FedEx her passport? I’m confused. The twins are excited that Mimi won’t be going. “Karma’s a bitch!” one of them says. Oh please, twins, do you even know what karma is? Because what has Mimi done to you where karma would ever target her? If karma’s a bitch, it would be more likely the twins would get food poisoning from a taco in Mexico and have to fly home where their dad could tell them how disappointed he is in them because they f’ed up the one thing they had accomplished in their life: being on the Bad Girls Club. Actually, that karma wouldn’t be a bitch, she’d be a hero!

Everyone in the house, except the twins, is completely devastated that Mimi is not going to Cabo. There’s some serious mourning in the BGC house. Folks, she just made a stupid mistake. That’s all! She then gets in a car to go to the airport for her trip home.

The six remaining girls quickly dry their tears and hop on a plane to Mexico. Upon arrival at the resort, they immediately start drinking. Get out of town! Erica, Amy, Gia, and Elease all head to their suite while the twins stay behind in the lobby so they can get their own room. While I do feel like they’re just scared, I think they are smart for avoiding drama.

The twins lounge around the hotel pool while the rest of the girls go on a booze cruise where Gia does her thing on the pole and Amy shakes her nonexistent ass. Fun times! The twins then go to a bar by themselves where they are mean to an adorable local guy named Adrian. When he tells them he is a waiter, they’re all, “wait on us then!” Ugh.

The next morning they all go swimming with dolphins. Well, everyone but the twins because they are scared of the other girls, me thinks, and not just the adorable swimming mammals. I am encouraged, however, because the twins are at least nice to the help at the hotel. You have to look for the sun somewhere!

Amy, Gia, Erica, and Elease hang with the dolphins. I can’t help but miss Jenna. You know that girl would be having the time of her life! While all this is happening, the twins eat. Hehe.

After a final night of partying where body shots, and I imagine other kinds of shots, are consumed, everyone packs it up and goes home. The twins remain silent in the van to the airport. Awkward…

Back at the house, Erica calls the twins Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Dani claims she doesn’t mind because Tweedledee and Tweedledum are the twins in Alice in Wonderland. I fail to see how that makes it a compliment. Jaws is a character in Jaws, and if anyone said I reminded them of the shark in that movie, I wouldn’t be too excited, but that’s just me.

At this point the twins feel like something is going to go down. Dani claims that she’ll have a weapon on her for when she gets jumped. I wonder what her weapon of choice would be, a bottle of salad dressing perhaps?

That night all the girls go out except for Erica, who stays home and calls her mom. Erica’s mother rivals the twins’ dad as parent of the year. Erica, who is constantly bragging about her red bottoms and black card-carrying boyfriend, now boasts that her mom has been in a jail fight or two so she can give useful advice. Okay then. Mom tells her to get those bitches out of there. Sure!

Meanwhile, the other girls take the limo home from the club. A drunk Amy asks the twins why they always talk sh*t. A fight quickly escalates with a bunch of fake fist flying. When they arrive home, Erica tries to figure out what happened. The twins are visibly shaken up. They approach the producer and say they want to go home. They whine that it’s four against two and that they feel attacked. The producer (my new favorite person in the world) points out that they got a taste of their own medicine. No, they respond, they’re nice! I’m sorry, but in what delusional world do you live in that it’s nice to jump a girl that you just met, to throw her clothes in a pool and destroy her mattress? Yeah, that’s what I thought. There’s no such world!

Gabi admits that yes, they could have been friendlier to Elease and Jenna, but it’s too late now. The twins go to the hotel for a night to cool down.

Something is definitely going to go down next week. Eek!

Till then—

Liz


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