Everyone makes mistakes. That includes criminals. Here are nine crime mistakes that will make you cringe, from butt-dialing police during a robbery to using an ice cream truck as a getaway car.
1. Snorting human (and dog) remains
Burglars accidently snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs. According to Reuters, the burglars believed they were snorting either cocaine or heroin. Boy, were they wrong.
The Florida thieves stole an urn from a woman’s home containing the ashes of her father. They grabbed another urn that contained the ashes her two deceased Great Danes.
Once they realized they were snorting ashes, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes, according to the report. Ultimately the upstanding citizens threw the urns in a lake instead because they feared their fingerprints were on them.
2. Leaving your name and number at the crime scene
Leaving your contact information at a crime scene is never a good idea. A Georgia man had intentions to rob a convenience store. When he arrived he asked the clerk for a job application, according to Online Athens, to buy time until a customer left the store. Once he and the clerk were alone, the robber went behind the counter and pressed a steak knife into the clerk’s side. He made off with the register money.
The job application scheme may have been a good idea if not for the fact that he actually wrote down accurate information. According to the report, he wrote his real name on the application along with his uncle's phone number. He did write a bogus address, at least.
Despite his faked interest in a new employment, he was apparently already a career robber. This mistake led to him being held as a suspect in multiple armed robberies.
3. Confessing en Français
A Canadian woman was hysterically crying when a police constable showed up to her home. He was called to investigate a claim of breaking and entering. The woman said criminals broke into her Alberta home by smashing a window. According to Canoe, she claimed jewelry and electronics were stolen.
During the police investigation, the woman took a call from her father in Quebec. She told him in French that she and her boyfriend had made up the whole story for insurance fraud. Based on the report, she even created faux burglar footprints.
The police constable told her “Merci beaucoup” and she was charged with mischief.
“She didn’t expect a brown guy to speak French,” he said according to the report. He speaks six languages in addition to French: English, Punjabi, Hindi, Urdu, Arabic and Gujarati.
4. Burning your own property
A Florida man wanted to burn down his neighbor's trailer but ended up burning down his own. According to the Orlando Sentinel, it began with a brawl that ended with a Molotov cocktail. The man threw the improvised firebomb at his neighbor’s trailer. But the wind shifted and the flames travelled back to his own yard. It burned his own trailer, two cars and a pickup truck.
Sounds like a tale of Molotov karma.
5. Ice cream truck as getaway vehicle
Two Maryland men jumped into a Good Humor ice cream truck after robbing a CVS store. What did they steal? Soap and shampoo worth $500, according to the Washington Post.
Police acknowledged that the ice cream truck was "a very easy vehicle to spot." It led to a high speed chase that ended in a crash. The accident left three other men with minor injuries, according to the report.
Police didn’t find much good humor in the incident.
"It's easy to look at it from the outside and think that it's funny because there was an ice cream truck involved and because they stole a lot of toiletries," police said. "Especially in this case, because there were citizens who were injured as a result of what these guys did, it's not a laughing matter to the police."
6. Evidence on a Post-It
A statewide streak of bank robberies in California ended after evidence was scribbled on a sticky note. According to Marinij, a California Highway Patrol officer pulled over a Mercedes that matched a description linked to the robbery spree.
In the center console of the car police found a yellow Post-It note with a handwritten message: "Robbery - 100s and 50s only."
"We call that a clue," police said. According to the report, the driver was then taken to a local jail and eventually transferred to the FBI, which had been investigating the case.
7. Asking a cop for help for your sub-par crack purchase
Here’s a good tip: If you buy illegal drugs and they aren’t the best quality, don’t complain about your dealer to a cop. That’s just what one North Carolina woman did. According to the Washington Post, the crack consumer approached a police officer at a convenience store complaining that she was sold “bad crack.”
She pulled an alleged crack rock out of her mouth and placed it on the deputy's car to show him, according to the report. The cop had no sympathy for the poor quality sale. He told her she would be arrested if the crack tested positive for cocaine. It did and she was arrested for possession.
8. Forgery request too damn high
A Texan ruined his chances of getting a bogus check cashed by being too greedy. According to CBS News, a man walked into a bank and tried to cash a $360 billion check.
The tellers were immediately suspicious. He told them he wanted to start a record business, and that the check was given to him by his girlfriend’s mother. The bank contacted the woman who said she did not give permission for the check to be taken or cashed, according to the report.
The extra O’s he wrote on the fake check led to his arrest and forgery charges.
9. Butt-dialing 911 while burglarizing
A burglar butt-dialed 911 not once but twice while breaking into a home. According to Ynaija, police arrived on to scene to find a window forced open.
The butt-dialing burglar made an additional cell mistake, which led to his capture: A low-battery alert chirped from his phone as he hid in the home’s bathroom. The noise led police to his hiding place, according to the report. Another reason to always charge your phone before committing a crime! The Ohio man was charged with breaking and entering.