Amber on Love Games Episode 2: Punch Drunk Love
I started to cry after my fight with Natalie because: 1) That was my very first physical fight, and 2) Natalie took a cheap shot at me when I was looking in my purse for my ID, so I was taken by surprise. I always knew that Natalie was confrontational, but I didn’t think that she would touch another cast member, especially me. I tend to avoid conflict and for good reason. I know I can’t inflict the same damage on someone like Natalie that she could on me. Plus with a face like mine, I have to protect such a moneymaker (guess she doesn’t have the same worries!)
The reason that I asked Natalie if her ID said male or female is because she was downstairs telling the guys complete lies about me, and nothing bothers me more than hearing someone who I thought was a good person talk crap about me. Also, I was just over her bullsh*t with all the lying, antagonizing, and making things up about me. Natalie and I did not know one another at all. We were complete strangers, so hearing Natalie talking about me like she knew me for years angered me so much that I wanted the confrontation. I thought that maybe standing up for myself would put her in her place and stop all the drama she stirs up. It’s all a show anyway. She does it for the cameras and the attention. It’s fake as hell and annoying. I am sure it makes for good TV, but try living in a house with her.
What I said to Natalie was in response to her initial attack on me. Natalie’s delusional mind was thinking that Lea and I made some pact about getting rid of her guys. I had NO idea who Natalie liked. I had a feeling she liked Eduardo, but that feeling was never confirmed at that time. Natalie “liking” Greg made my jaw drop when I watched it on TV. So, Natalie holding her anger towards me (especially when I thought we had made up that very night after cameras were off) and talking crap about me fueled my fire. Then when I was confronting Natalie on her lies in front of the guys, she was embarrassed that she had been lying to them this whole time, which goes to show how much of a coward she is because she can’t argue with words. She has to hit another person when they are not looking to make herself feel better.
I wasn’t jealous that Natalie hooked up with Taylor in the shower. I was shocked to say the least. I think we all were. Taylor walked around the house telling everyone that he is from Alabama and bringing home any girl that isn’t of Caucasian decent would get him shunned from his home and town. After Taylor hooked up with Natalie, he made the comment to myself, Lea and a few of the other guys that he had his first “minority kiss”. This just goes to show that Taylor had no idea what he was doing. I will admit that I was a little put off when Taylor hooked up with Natalie because he had been telling me how much he disliked her.
During the beach date when Emilio was acting like a child, it didn’t bother me at all. I’m not saying that I am into childish guys, but I like guys that like to have fun and like to do things that are considered child-like games. I was also very happy that Emilio was enjoying playing alone because it gave me a chance to talk with John, which I really enjoyed! John is a very quiet and mysterious man with a killer smile and I had a strong interest in getting to know him.
I decided to put Robert A. up for elimination because he wasn’t there for any of us. Robert was quiet and hid in the shadows of the other guys. In a sense, he was a bore. I decided to put Eduardo up for elimination because he made it very clear to Lea, myself and the other guys that he was there for Natalie and Natalie alone. After Natalie threw punches at me, I decided that I wanted to get rid of anyone that was pro-Natalie, even though I actually had a lot of respect for Eduardo and liked him. As for Taylor, he and I had a chat and he told me that he was there for me and not Natalie, so I wanted to keep him in the house. I knew that Natalie would assume that Taylor was there for her, so I told Taylor that I wanted to keep him, but I really needed to get rid of Robert A. and Eduardo because they were possibly pro-Natalie. I told him that I was putting him up for elimination because I knew that Natalie would not eliminate him and that Lea and I had already discussed our motives and she was onboard with keeping Taylor in the house. After all was said and done, I questioned my decision on keeping Taylor, because he didn’t seem to understand why I did that, and it almost felt like Taylor turned on me at that point.
I was extremely happy that Natalie and Lea decided to keep Taylor during eliminations! That was my entire plan, and I knew walking into eliminations Taylor did not understand what I was trying to do, but I hoped after all was said and done, he would understand that I was doing it to stay in the game and take him to the end with me. If Taylor had been voted off, I would have been paralyzed with guilt. I wouldn’t know what to say or do, I would have felt absolutely horrible!!