11 Celebrities Who Are Totally Sober
Probably the smartest decision of their lives.
It may be sobering to know that some of your favorite celebrities are sober! Check out this list of 11 celebrities who stand a little bit taller after teetotaling. There are actually more than I expected... award show after-parties must not be as fun as I thought.
1. Kim Kardashian
Midori spokeswoman and ubiquitous reality star Kim Kardashian isn’t stone sober, but has stated publicly on multiple occasions that she rarely, if ever, drinks. She claims she hates the taste and has a better time sober. Man, if I didn’t drink, think of all the money I could have saved by now. I’d have enough money for butt implants, and lip fillers, bigger boobs, regular laser facials, eyelash extensions… Plus, if you get wasted you might do something embarassing, and then it’d be all over the news, and Kim Kardashian totally wouldn’t want that.
2. Natalie Portman
After child star Natalie Portaman turned slightly older, she never has the urge to get into alcohol or drugs. She says she drank in college but has been sober ever since.
3. Bradley Cooper
Bradley Cooper jumped on the sober wagon just when his train was about to arrive. He went sober to “focus on his career” and how his career is amaze-balls. Huh, the fewer Hangovers the better…
4. George W. Bush
At 20, George Bush was arrested for disorderly conduct, at 30 he received a DUI, at 40 he was sober, and at 54 he was the 43rd President of The United States. Former First Lady Laura Bush talked about her son’s addiction in a 2010 interview with Oprah saying "He liked to drink beer, bourbon and B&B afterwards.” In his autobiography, he cited “having slower mornings” as his reason for giving up the sauce.
5. Tyra Banks
Her smize doesn’t lize… super model Tyra Banks says her only experience with boozie drinks was a taste when she was 12. Congratulations, sobriety. You are still in the running to be on America’s Next Top Model.
6. Blake Lively
It’s not gossiping to say that former Gossip Girl Blake Lively has never been into either drugs or alcohol. She says she prefers being a foodie, instead.
7. Toby Maguire
Toby Maguire’s been sober since 19. Soberingly talented, that is. Also, sober from drugs and alcohol.
8. Jennifer Hudson
J-Hud says growing up on the South Side of Chicago, she saw drugs and alcohol ruin too many lives to be tempted.
9. Naomi Campbell
Namoi is new to the sober train, having given up alcohol right around 2013. She says sobriety helps her control her well-renowned behavior.
10. Lana Del Ray
Lana Del Ray née Lizzie Grant battled addiction in her teens and was sober by 20. Before that, she said she would often start drinking first thing in the morning and preferred to drink alone. She said in an interview with Celebrity Interview, “When I feel like people don’t like this music, and that the 10 years I spent making what I made was not for a good reason, that makes me want to drink again.”
11. Jennifer Lopez
J-Lo says alcohol is bad for the skin and will only drink when pressured for a toast. She also doesn’t smoke or drink caffeine, which explains why at 46, she doesn’t look a day over… wait, J-Lo is 46? That’s nuts! Look at her! She looks f*ckkiing fantastic!