Bad Girls Club 805 Recap

Hey kidz! We survived another week of the Bad Girls Club! Cheers for us! And the good news is, spoiler alert, most of the girls were nice to Elease. I think we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. It truly does get better.

But just not at the beginning! The episode opens up with Elease waking up and announcing that she’s still in the house. Erica is ready for Round Two. But Elease just wants to avoid the drama, so she goes out during the day, which is a novelty for the other six as they prefer to sleep and lounge around in their pjs because really, Las Vegas is SO boring.

Elease meets up with Season 7 Bad Girl Nastasia. Nastasia encourages Elease to remain strong. Elease agrees and decides that she will just kill them with kindness. I admire her strategy but I hope it can withstand all the poking and prodding that the other girls direct her way.

Back at the house, the other girls are just getting up, surprise surprise. One of the twins, being the lady that she is, thinks it would be a great idea to pour salad dressing into Elease’s suitcase. Gia suggests blue cheese because it smells, but Erica’s all, no, use the French dressing she has by her bed. Why is it not shocking that Erica keeps condiments by her bedside? But I digress. Demitra takes a stand against the dressing, but she’s overruled by the rest of the girls. After Erica pours it in, Gia and Gabi shake up the suitcase to make a “tossed salad.” So sweet.

Elease arrives back home. When she sees that they’ve destroyed even more of her stuff, the cool cat remains calm. I do not know how she does it. I am not a fighter at all, but I am a talker—hence the name Liz Out Loud—and I guarantee you there would be some f--- this, f--- that if you ruined my clothes, but Elease takes the high road and thanks them.

At this point, Erica announces in her talking head that she’s bored of bullying Elease because it isn’t affecting her, so she’s going to stop. Oh what maturity and growth you have shown. But hey, if the attacking will stop, I’m all for it.

The next morning Gabi writes a mean note on the computer desk directed towards Elease. I have no idea what it says or what it is supposed to mean, but Elease, again, ignores it and then starts drawing SpongeBob versions of the twins because she says they have square torsos and skinny legs like SpongeBob. Hehe, gotta giggle at that. But the twins are all how DARE she! So then the poking and prodding begins. One of the Terrible Two touches Elease’s hair and she swats her away and then Amy gets in her face and they start a vicious game of Paddy Cake where everyone is slapping back and forth. And I thought only children played Paddy Cake. Hmmmmm.

Elease sits back down at the computer and the Twins station themselves behind her. Gabi pulls her hair and they get in another fight. Amy and Demitra have to pull them apart. Afterwards Gabi is panting while her boobs practically spill out of her bikini top. Dani boasts, “Two of us, one of you!” like that’s something to be proud of. I don’t advocate fighting, but if you’re gonna fight, fight fair! It’s at this point where Demitra and Amy finally come to their senses. Mimi doesn’t understand why the twins get so mad at Elease when they’re the ones provoking the fight.

Erica also jumps on the “Let’s Treat Elease Like a Human Being” bandwagon. She realizes that if she is nice to her, then the other girls will probably follow. She finds Elease in the VIP room and invites her to start drinking. While I’m dubious of her motives, I’m relieved that Elease is safe for the moment.

Elease ends up drinking too much, getting sick and staying home while everyone else goes out. Maybe not the best way to get in good with the girls (and I am a little shocked at what a lightweight she is) but oh well, my girl is still the baddest b*tch in the house.

While Elease stays home, everyone else goes out to an arcade/bar. Everyone seems to be in a good mood, even the twins. Amy sets her sights on a guy named AJ. Gia thinks he’s asparagus, which means she considers him a step up from Burgundy from Episode Two who was “broccoli” and fake married Amy. Considering that AJ looks like a 15-year-old skateboarder with a paper route, I don’t know how that’s an upgrade, but that’s just me.

When they all return to the house, Elease is still passed out in the VIP room and Erica and Gia discuss how they are over trying to drive her out of the house. This upsets the Terrible Two. Dani thinks Erica is a flip flopper and Gia is a shadow. She doesn’t understand how they can forgive Elease. And I’m all, forgive Elease for WHAT? She didn’t do anything to them! Ugh, I guess vocabulary is not their strong suit.

Meanwhile, AJ comes over with booze and a smile. What a gentleman. After a few drinks, Amy makes out with him and brings him to her bed. The next morning, while Amy continues sleeping, his brother picks him up, which just cements my theory that he is a paper boy whose preferred mode of transportation is a BMX bike. When Amy finally gets out of bed, she tells the other girls nothing happened because they were both too drunk. Good to know!

The twins decide that maybe they should do something besides attack Elease, so they look up places to go indoor skydiving. They invite everyone else to go, even Elease. When they get to the place, however, the twins chicken out. Gabi blames it on her asthma and Dani follows suit. Their loss, because it looks really cool. Basically they put on puffy suits and hover over a pit of blasting air which keeps them afloat. Next time I’m in Vegas, I’m going there!

After their adventure, they go back to the house. Erica asks Elease to hang out with her. I’m wary but Erica does seem to be turning a new leaf so I’ll go with it. Erica asks Elease why she let people walk all over her. Uh, she didn’t. You threw her mattress in the pool. You put salad dressing in her suitcase when she wasn’t home. Details, details! Elease reiterates her strategy that she is going to kill them with kindness.

Gabi calls her (in)famous Dad of the Year. She tells him how she beat up the new chick twice and how the new chick just keeps smiling. Now, if I told my dad I beat up a girl twice, he would fly cross country and whoop my ass. It doesn’t matter that I’m a grown woman. But Dad of the Year? He’s all, deal with it, otherwise the other girls may try to send you home. Great parenting!

That night everyone is going out for dinner. All of the girls have moved on except the twins (shocker). Gia tells them she doesn’t want drama at the restaurant so no bullying. The twins cannot comprehend this. They’re all, but we promised we’d get the new girl to go home wah wah wah!!! They call Erica and Gia and everyone’s mother fake. Fake this, fake that. You know what’s fake, ladies? Your nails. Now let’s move on.

As they get ready to enter the restaurant, the twins continue to talk trash about Elease. They accuse her of eavesdropping, and Elease is all, yeah, I’m listening to you. You’re talking about me! Dani, who stands about a foot shorter than Elease, starts pulling at Elease’s clothes and hitting her. What, are they auditioning for a role on Cops? Demitra storms off because she is genuinely upset about the fighting. She’s embarrassed and just wants to eat her pasta, goddamnit!

The twins remain in the car while everyone else goes in to eat. Erica plays den mother to the rest of the girls. She warns them that if they’re going to fight, they should duke it out at home, or heck, not at all! My head is going to explode. Does Erica remember ANY of her previous behavior? I mean, I’m happy she’s grown up, but does she have any self awareness??? I don’t get it.

Back in the car Dani continues her tirade against all the fake people. Fake fake fake. Gabi looks like she is going to unravel at any second. Dani decides to go into the restaurant, where she boasts that she’s going to kick Elease’s ass when they get home. Erica tells her to chill out, but she also recognizes that Dani may explode any moment. She asks the waiter for their food to go because she doesn’t want to make a scene at the restaurant.

When they get home, Elease puts on her sneaks and gym clothes. She’s ready to rumble! Dani brags that she made a pledge to make any new girls go home even if they were nice, and she never goes back on her word! What perseverance! Gabi calls Dad of the Year. For such a Bad Girl she weally needs her daddy! It’s like she’s a wittle baby! She tells him she’s not going to last. He’s all, I don’t care, it’s 2 in the morning here, call back tomorrow.

Elease is prepping for war… she ties her hair back, puts on sneakers, and is ready for the supposed beatdown she has coming to her. But it doesn’t come. Erica advises Elease not to worry, since now it’s the twins versus everyone. And then in her talking head Erica apologizes. She’s ashamed how she acted towards Elease and she knows her mother would be upset. And this makes me like Erica. She finally acknowledged her actions.

So now a storm is brewing. The twins versus the world. What will happen next????

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