BGC 910 Recap: Cruisin for a Bruisin

Hola mis amigos! I hope everyone had a great weekend! Did you watch football? If not—don’t worry! You got to watch quite a rumble on the Bad Girls Club, and based on last week it looks like Andrea could end up the loser. Let’s begin, shall we?

After calling Ashley a “fat slut” last week, Andrea apologizes at the request of Rima. But instead of saying, “Yo, Ash, I’m sorry for calling you a mean name,” she’s all “Yo, Ashley, Rima told me to apologize so I’m sorry.” I like you Andrea, but this is an example of when it is better to lie! Might sound slightly more authentic. Just saying…

Despite the tension, all of the girls go out to lunch. Falen and Julie announce that they are all going on a booze cruise, which looks more like a booze raft. Oh well, as long as there is alcohol (which there is) along with trashy boys straight out of MTV Spring Break: The Budget Years. Ashley turns out to be quite the female Casanova. She makes out with a guy who boasts that he has, ahem, 12 inch ding-dong. His mom would be so proud!

They return to the house and Ashley is desperate for some loving. She tries calling her new boo on the phone, but she gets the busy signal (how quaint) so she does what any sane, rational person would do: she starts hooking up with Julie in the pool! We haven’t gotten any action in one month, they moan. What, are they in prison? Mama Liz Out Loud has gone a lot longer without any play, and I turned out okay. I think.

The next day, they are ready for more adventures… like riding camels in the desert! Andrea dresses up like she’s going to the club, which of course Julie mocks. When they arrive, all the girls can talk about is camel private parts. Gee whiz, they have something on their mind!

Back at the house, Julie calls her friend Kelly who tells J that her ex-boyfriend Alex is back with HIS ex. Got that? And then Andrea’s friend calls her and Andrea tells him that everyone in the house still hates her, but she’s okay with it. In fact, the girls have made a calendar to count down the days till she goes home. Harsh!

Undaunted, Andrea goes to Pink Kitty solo (dolo) and orders a bottle which apparently is comped. She invites a few random girls to join her and then the four originals—Falen, Julie, Rima, and Ashley—all show up and finish her bottle. Andrea is pissed and vows that sh*t is going to go down. Uh oh!

They all go home where Zuly is trying to sleep. That proves a bit difficult because Andrea confronts Ashley and before we know it they are attacking each other. After a brief breather, they go at it again. The producers rush in to intervene and beg Andrea to let go out of Ashley’s weave. Oh boy. At this point it’s World War III, with Zuly as the Switzerland of the group.

The next morning Zuly takes Andrea out to chill one-on-one. In the evening, everyone minus Andrea, goes out to the club. Ashley meets a cute boy named Spencer who picks up their tab- he’s definitely a keeper. I hope he tips!  Ashley continues her Casanova ways and brings him back to the house where Rima asks how big his unit is, because, why be subtle? Then Ashley brings him to her room where they knock boots while Falen and Rima spy on them. Hehe. I would totally do the same! The eavesdropping, that is.

The next morning Spencer leaves but not before leaving either a note or number on Ashley’s hand. Ah, young love! But her happy feeling of unicorns and rainbows is short-lived because now she joins Falen, Rima, and Julie in their mission to send Andrea home. They fill up trash bags with Andrea’s possessions and scatter them all over the beach. Andrea knows the score, it’s no use going one against four.

But they cross a line when they commit perhaps the biggest violation in Bad Girls Club history. Ashley and Julie take Andrea’s stuffed monkey, Monk Monk, and literally rip him apart and throw him in the ocean. This is NOT okay! Andrea picks up the pieces and goes back to the house, where Falen throws hot sauce all over her and Ashley screams, “You look like a punk!” Not really—Falen looks like the punk—but okay. Then Julie refuses to let Andrea into the house, telling her she’s evicted. Before you know it, they are fighting! How unusual for them!

And then the episode ends.

So what do you think? Will Andrea finally go home? Will Ashley ever go back to the sweet ditzy girl who hated drama??? I guess we’ll just have to wait till next week to find out.

Till then—

Liz Out Loud

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