BGC 913 Recap: Fist Fist, Bang Bang

El Club de Chicas Mals is over. Que lastima, though I bet Mexico is happy to say goodbye to them! Let’s discuss, shall we?

Last week left off with Falen and Julie hooking up and Julie declared her love for Falen. Hey, stranger things have happened, though I can’t think of any right now. We open up this week’s episode with the two of them waking up together. Julie announces she has no panties on. Of course she doesn’t. They decide to keep quiet about what happened.

Elsewhere in the house, Rima gets a threatening email from Andrea. Not to be deterred, she picks up the phone to call Andrea. I can’t recall the conversation word for word, but it went something along these lines: “Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep!” Always classy, that Rima.

Mike from Pink Kitty calls to invite them to do a photo shoot the next day. Julie’s all, I don’t like photo shoots, you have to stand around all day and it’s hot, wah wah wah. And I’m all, when the HELL has Julie gone to any photo shoots? High school portraits don’t count.

Later on, they go out and brag about how they’re all still standing, as opposed to the four ladies who went home. And let’s take a moment to recall these sweet women, who I am SURE will not make an appearance later in the episode. I’m talking about Erika, Christina, Mehgan, and Andrea.

But I digress. At the club, Rima and Falen bond over coming from the same kind of strict African families- Rima from Algeria, and Falen from Eritrea. Well obviously their parents weren’t TOO strict because look where they are now… But anyway, Julie overhears how Rima says that she relates to Falen because of their common background, and Julie flips her sh*t. She relates just as well to Falen, she insists. And she calls Rima over and starts arguing with her. Rima is naturally all, “you crazy!” And then Julie goes home alone. When the rest of the gang returns to the house, Falen approaches Julie. They make amends and then Rima joins in too and everyone’s friends again! PHEW.

So you remember Erika, Christina, Mehgan, and Andrea? You’ll never believe it but they are in Cabo! See, they are going to surprise the other girls at the photo shoot. They meet up first and boast about how they are going to kick everyone’s ass. Should be fun!

Back at the house, the photographer shows up to snap photos of the remaining six. Then, lo and behold, the other four show up. They are frosty as hell but they all smile for the cameras and take more pictures.

The photo shoot concludes, and Mehgan is ready to fight. Home girl came prepared: she’s wearing camouflage shorts, a t-shirt, and sneaks. She immediately starts stirring sh*t up and screaming and saying that Julie talked crap about Falen. She then announces that the only person she wants to fight at the moment is Blondie. Ashley tries to deflect the tension but Mehgan does not care one bit. She punches her and then pulls her off the couch.

But wait, now it’s Erika’s turn to pop off. She gets up in Rima’s face and calls her all sorts of names, none of them nice. Rima just ignores her. It’s actually a shame that Erika is so nasty, because she can be really funny and amusing when she’s not batsh*t crazy.

Not to be left out, Christina confronts Falen. And by confronts I mean attacks. The producers have to pull them apart.

All right, now it’s time for them to leave. Erika warns us that this will not be the last time we see her and that she will be bringing it to the reunion. I hope Rima wears some padding to protect herself!

After the dust settles, the remaining six girls all go out because it is their last night. Everything’s all sunshine and rainbows, which is nice for a change. When they get home, a drunk Rima rips Andrea’s picture from the wall and buries it in the sand. What a beautiful metaphor or foreshadowing or something.

Budding lovers Julie and Falen spend one last night together under the sheets. Julie again declares her love for Falen and pledges that she will take care of her. Bish, you need to take care of yourself first!

The sun rises and it is time to go home. Rima talks about how she stayed in the house for her son, to prove how strong his mama is. Everyone cries which I never understand because they spent half the time attacking each other. Oh well.

Non-entity Natasha is the first to leave, then aggressive lesbian Zuly follows her out the door. She announces that it’s not “goodbye, this is see you later!” which is what I learned to say at leadership camp in high school, though I doubt she attended that.

Then it’s just the four originals. Falen leaves, then Julie. Rima and Ashley run around the house and decide to fly back to Chicago together.

El fin.

SO, what do you think will happen at the reunion???

Till then—

Liz Out Loud

Check out a sneak peek of Monday's SO new BGC reunion here! Monday at 10 ET/PT!

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