Remember the first time you wore make-up to middle school, and you were SO excited because you felt so grown up? And then the most popular girl in seventh grade, let’s call her Amber, made fun of your shoes (who knows why) and you cried and cried and cried and that mascara that you so carefully applied wound up all over your face?
Well, that’s what Janae looks like after her fight with Valentina. Home girl is a HOT MESS. Alicia takes her aside and tries to comfort her by telling her she needs to chill out. “If you can’t take the heat get out of the fire,” a wise Alicia says, except she means kitchen. Tomayto, tomahto.
The next morning, our token stripper/lesbian Stephanie decides she likes men and calls Andre from Love Games, whom she had met the night before at da club. She invites him and any and all of his friends over for a pool party.
Meanwhile, Janae, who is no longer drunk (I think) apologizes for the 4874th time. We should take a shot every time she says she’s sorry! But then we wouldn’t get through the episode because we’d pass out first. But I digress. Nicole is not ready to accept her apology because it’s the same thing every day. If Janae is actually sorry, she needs to change her behavior.
Shannon, Valentina, and Alicia go out shopping where they pick out tasteful items like studded bras and glitter tops. Back at the house, Stephanie teaches Paula moves on the pole and Janae calls her friend Amon and whines that she wants to go home, sort of.
Later on that night, Andre shows up with his friend Sean. Big crowd! Stephanie and Andre go in the hot tub and Nicole and Paula encourage them to make out, which they do. What a fickle lesbian Stephanie is!
The boys go home and everyone goes to bed for the night. Surprisingly calm! The next morning Alicia and Paula burn pancakes and start a mini food fight in the house. Everyone laughs! I am shocked that they are all being so chill. This can’t last…
Alicia calls her younger brother Michael who is 22 and inked. Apparently he’s going to visit, and Nicole is excited because maybe he’s hot? But then later on in the pool Alicia says that her brother would never go for a girl like Nicole. Burn!
It’s getting late and some of the girls are wasted so it’s prank time! Shannon, Alicia, and Janae mix together a concoction of sour cream, ricotta cheese, and cranberry juice (yum!) and apply it to Paula’s bedspread. She laughs about it. Nicole, meanwhile, is disgusted, pointing out that this could attract bacteria and sh*t. So Shannon starts cleaning it up, while denying that she was part of the prank in the first place, and this infuriates Alicia. They start freaking out at each other, though Alicia definitely seems more bothered than Shannon. There are accusations of being fake, girls having sex changes, and the presence of camel toe. That escalated quickly.
The dust settles slightly and all the girls go out to a club because why be mad when there is booze to drink. But then Alicia gets mad at Janae because Janae thinks Alicia is fake (oh geez, how original.) Nicole encourages them to talk it out. They seem to sort of make peace, or not, but at least they calm down. Tired Janae goes to the limo to take a nap.
The next morning, Alicia is still pissed at Shannon. Oh the days when Alicia was the nice one! She approaches Valentina to talk about who they should send home first: Shannon or Janae, who is still acting like everyone is out to get her. Turns out Shannon had apologized to Valentina in the confessional, telling her that she only dates black guys and stuff so she’s totally not a racist. Keep digging yourself deeper, Shannon. But ultimately they decide to target Janae.
Another house meeting is called. Seems to be the business of the day. Valentina decides to do Janae a favor and pack all of her stuff into garbage bags and put them outside. Janae doesn’t even seem that angry, just resigned. She brings all of the goods back inside.
So will Janae go home??? We will soon find out!
Liz Out Loud
Check out a sneak peek from Tuesday's SO new episode (@ 8/7c) here: