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A tip for any would-be thieves out there: stealing is wrong. But if you do find yourself on the other side of the law, you probably don’t want to keep a journal listing all the crimes you’ve committed.
The Ballwin Police Department in Missouri provided an object lesson on that in a Facebook post that’s now being shared over social media.
Amongst a list of general warnings about recent car break-ins, fraudulent credit card usage, and slippery roads, officers of the BPD snuck in a playful anecdote about a captured kleptomaniac.
"Officers responded to numerous reports of stolen alcohol from businesses in Ballwin," explains the post. "The suspect was located and arrested after officers observed him and his backpack full of alcohol clanging down the sidewalk alongside Manchester Road. The suspect was identified as the serial thief featured in previous weekly roundups, who keeps a journal of his crimes."
Amongst the items listed by the unnamed booze bandit are bottles of Jack Daniels and Grey Goose. The sloshed swindler even noted the days he took off from his busy schedule of burglary.
The police department made sure to add their own playful addendum to the list:
"ARRESTED, MUAHAHAHA" reads the edited image.
"His entry for February 6th was left blank, so we filled it in for him," they noted.
Ballwin was named the safest city in Missouri last year by the National Council for Home Safety and Security, according to Newsweek, meaning that the kinds of crimes reported in the post are actually exceedingly rare. Only 12 violent crimes and 169 property crimes were listed by the group.
“As always, if you need us, we will be there," the post concluded.
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