I was determined to go on stage.

By permanenteditor
Oooooooohhhh ahhhhhhhhh summertime in the LBC…This is my favorite season, so going into this week’s challenge when we found out that we would have to host a party in our swimsuits, all I could think was OMG! Let me find my cutest swimsuit and wear it to the party. I wasn’t really worried about who saw me in it because I was there for a change and I knew in my heart that my body had start making changes. No I wasn’t going to get a two-piece and model it, but as long as I was covered, comfortable and cute I would be fine.

So after we are told our challenge, Mel B tells us she has a surprise for us and I knew looking around it probably was going to involve the pool, and it probably wasn’t going to be playtime. I was right. She sent us downstairs and surprise, surprise—it was the general of course. Our workout for the day was going to be in the pool. I was actually pretty excited because I am a fish and love to swim so I was going to make the best out of this workout.

I had started to get really ill and my body started to shut down on me this week. During rehearsal, we were running our routine and I wanted to give it at least 90% each time because I wanted to nail my jump perfectly. Well the third time that we started to run the routine, I landed and next thing I know I am on the floor. I tried to get up but my knee was snapping in. I thought when I first fell that maybe I passed out, but it all happened so fast I thought, ok just walk it off you’ll be fine, take a break and come back and perform. But as I sat down, my knee kept swelling and eventually I could straighten it. The producers came and told me they were taking me to the doctor’s office and all I could think of was “Am I gonna make it back for the show?” I didn’t want to go if I wasn’t, because if I didn’t perform I was going to be automatically eliminated. I just wanted to perform! I went to the doctors and he could not tell how serious it was, because there was so much swelling. He said that I would have to come back for an MRI in two weeks.

I refused to let Mel B look at my fans and into those cameras and tell America that I was injured, and due to my injury I could no longer be in the competition. In my heart I knew something was wrong, but I was praying for the best. I didn’t know how serious it was and I would have been really mad at myself for not going out there, and all of a sudden I feel better the next day. So I was determined to go on stage. I was so glad that I made it back to the stage and I was able to perform. During my performance, I fell for a second time, but this time was different. My leg was so unstable that it just gave out. I thought to myself, get up and finish and that’s what I DID! I was in so much pain, but I do not regret for one second of my life going back out on the stage.

Anyone that knows me knows I am a fighter. I had to go out there for me, because had I not gone out there I wouldn’t have known my capability. Tiana is the best choreographer, and Paul was a great partner because they believed in me just as much as I believed in myself. When I got back, we got together, and they changed the routine to fit movements that I was comfortable with. The jump was gone, Paul did most of the moving and I was very comfortable. They made it work for me and I will forever be grateful to them both. Sadly, in the end it still didn’t matter because my leg said NOOOOO.

Elimination for me was different than everyone else. Yes I danced, but I was not able to give a full performance due to my fall. So it was more of an automatic thing. In my heart I needed to have a score to go home—it was only right! That is how the competition works! I felt that I would feel better about my situation if I stood before the judges. I knew once I was hurt that I would probably have to go home, but I was not ready to accept that. How I am going to stay motivated is one thought I will treat everyday like I am still in this competition. I am going to go home knowing that everyone in the house is working hard and that I need to work just as hard like I am still in the house, because that is where I am supposed to be.

I came to this show to discover a new Briana and that is what I am going to do, I have gotten the tools that I need to find her, and that is my goal. I have learned so much while being here. I have met some beautiful people. To Adamme, Erica, Corey, Latoya, Katie, Michael and Stephanie: I love you all, continue to fight and work hard, we all started a journey and friendships that I know will last a lifetime. THANK YOU all for being a great support system for me during this time! To Kiki, Meredith, Sarah and Caleb: I love you all, and please also continue to fight! To Adamme: I love you Papi! I am soooo sorry that things happen this way, but I know that every moment you step on the dance floor you will dance for the both of us. I will see you soon, stay strong and motivated I love you! To Tiana, George and Nick: THANK YOU for pushing me as hard as you did because of you all I am a better dancer, and Tiana for always keeping it real and setting me straight. To Dr. Geller, Lee, and Rachel: THANK YOU for saving my life! To Lisa Ann and Danny: THANK YOU for giving me this great opportunity. THANK YOU Lisa Ann for the creation of Dance Your Ass Off!

And I saved the best for last, to my fans: you all are great. THANK YOU for your support and words of encouragement week after week. To those of you who told me you were inspired, please stay encouraged. Change comes one day at a time. Please know that while I continue my journey, you all will be the first people in mind as I do this for me and for you! I love you all and know this is not the last of Briana, because the Briana and Adamme relationship isn't over, it's just begun! Spin off watch out America! Yahoooooooooo!


To read more about Briana go here.
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