It's Adaptability week and as the theme suggests, I really had no idea to expect. I knew that sudden changes would arise throughout the week in the homework assignment, choreography, the music video shoot, and possibly even with last chance performances. I normally tediously prepare for the tasks at hand, so knowing that I would have to relinquish my sense of control and just go with the flow of things was a little nerve-wracking, but I think that it's an important theme to be able to overcome because with Glee, and many other aspects of this industry in general, there are lots of last-minute curveballs thrown at you and it's really adapt or die. Okay, maybe not die, but you know what I mean.
When I found that we had to sing the homework assignment as a solo, I was like, "I KNEW IT!" Before the performance, Blake and I actually talked about it back in our dorm, but it was definitely scary even though I had thought this could potentially happen. Originally, we had prepared for the homework assignment as a group, but alas, the group number became a solo. Praise Him (shout out to Shanna). Or not. I really liked our homework assignment performance as a group, so hello disappointment. Sad face.
The vocal booth with Nikki this week was not the best time I had in the studio thus far, but I wouldn't say that it was abysmal. Nikki and I worked out some stylistic changes to my solo line, which worked out great in the end because it became much more fluid and laid-back. I also had a little bit of trouble with rushing some parts, but I got that worked out in a few takes. Working with Nikki can always be a little nerve-wracking, especially during a week like this where you're told that you will all be singing to the track and changing the melody up WHILE singing all of the lyrics, but I think that I did alright. I definitely know that it wasn't my strongest week though, so I think I started to worry after I stepped out of that booth.
When I found out that we would be learning choreography on set, it was a big DUH. If anything unexpected was to be expected, it was the choreography; but I never really have a ridiculously hard time learning choreography, so I wasn't too worried. Plus, the choreography ended up being rather simple.
I don't know how people view my performance in the music video, but I was happy with it! I had a little breakthrough on-set early on during my solo line because I had a huge insecurity smiling with my teeth until that point (I know - weird) and lo and behold - I smiled with my teeth while singing! Plus, I think another thing I felt that I needed to really up my game on was popping out from a group but also blending in with them when necessary (after all, GLEE is an ensemble show as is The Glee Project) and I feel like I had accomplished that, so overall, I was happy with my performance. Hopefully people feel the same way!
Like I said before, it's Adaptability week and I KNEW that there would be a curveball thrown at us, so what do the mentors decide? This week will NOT be a bottom three, but a bottom 6. Pause and allow me to cue the crickets… Are you KIDDING ME?! Hahahah, Ugh. Cruel. Just cruel. But the sounds of my heart being crushed with this abrupt announcement were quickly silenced when I found out that I was paired with Ali for our Bottom 6 performance! I love her so much. She oozes positivity and light, so I wouldn't have wanted to be paired up with anyone else. I know our vocal styles are incredibly different. I know that our performance styles highly differ. Whatever. I love her. I wouldn't have had it any other way. The end.
However, can I just say this? "TGIF" by Katy Perry is actually a lot wordier than I thought and, no offense to Ms. Perry, the track is not necessarily the best song to show off your vocals. I mean, there's Nellie and Blake with this beautiful song that allows to them to showcase their vocal stylings and a flair of drama. Then there's Mario and Charlie with a power ballad about not letting the sun go down on them... And there's me and Ali chanting "TGIF!" But hey, adapt or die, right? We tried to choreograph and block the performance with the short amount of time we had and while it wasn't a perfect performance, we had fun and really trusted each other to get through the performance. Plus, Ryan said we were adorable, so YES. I think you're beautiful too, Ryan.
After we had finished our performances, Ryan called us back onstage and announced that Mario, Charlie and I would be in the bottom three. Honestly, my heart sunk. We were halfway into the season and I had steered clear of the bottom three until that point. On top of that, Ryan said that the only reason I was in the bottom three was because of my bottom six performance, so it sucked knowing that while the other two had legitimate reasons throughout the course of the week that landed them in the bottom three, I was solely there for my last chance performance. I don't want to say that I was shocked I was there because Nellie, Blake and Ali did an amazing job and deserved the callback, but it was really difficult when I found out that I could possibly be going home.
…But no! You're not getting rid of me that easily, Ryan Murphy! Haha, it felt SO good to walk up to that callback list and see my name on it. Walking up to that list, my heart was honestly pounding so hard that I'm surprised I didn't spontaneously combust on the way there.
Throughout this week, if I learned anything, it was to trust those who are guiding you (in this case, it was Zach, Nikki and Robert), but to also trust yourself. I had always dealt with confidence issues, which is why I always had to have everything within the palms of my hands; but sometimes, you can't always get what you want. And sometimes, the best performance -the best experiences in life- take place under the most unexpected circumstances, so just enjoy the roller coaster of a ride. It may be terribly frightening, but looking back, it can be one hell of a time (in the best way possible).
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