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“You know what, you see, this is exactly why he’s listed in my 'if I go missing' kit," Stef Duncan (Lyric Lewis), a character on Peacock sitcom "A.P. Bio," declares after Jack Griffin (Glenn Howerton) reads the disturbingly dark opening passage of a murder mystery he wrote.
Naturally, that statement is met by total confusion from one of the teachers, but the other characters all rush to display their own kits, complete with headshots from every angle, blood samples, and lists of men who could have wanted to kill them. It's all played for laughs and sure, it seems kind of silly (and sinister) to have a box filled with your DNA and your best headshots hidden somewhere, but actually, many people have created such kits — and law enforcement approves.
So what exactly is an "if I go missing" kit? Essentially, it's everything the authorities would need to locate you if you suddenly vanished. And yes, that includes DNA and recent photos — after all, who wants their hideous high school graduation photo being the shot plastered all over the newspapers in case of a sudden disappearance? (We kid, but ... c'mon.) Other crucial items to include in the kit? All of your passwords, your fingerprints and dental records, a list of your closest contacts, photos of any identifying scars or tattoos, a record of your daily routine and favorite places to visit, handwriting samples (in case the killer decides to forge a suicide note!), your cell phone PIN, and so on.
And while it isn't actually recommended to have a list of your enemies or people you're afraid of, it doesn't seem like the worst idea to include it in the kit. (Although, as they point out in "A.P. Bio," the person who should be topping that list, statistically speaking, is your husband. Yikes.)
The "if I go missing" kit is an idea popularized by true crime podcast "Crime Junkie," according to NBC Charlotte. Authorities agree that the idea is actually a very helpful one, and could potentially save lives.
"You do want to allow as many protections in place as you can in case you disappeared or if someone abducted you or something tragic happened," Tony Underwood with the Union County Sheriff’s Office told NBC Charlotte. “If you have one centralized location, it does circumvent having to write search warrants, court orders, trying to find someone who can give lawful consent to get access to this information."
Of course, just be careful you keep all this information in a very secure location — because let's face it, access to all that sensitive info is basically a serial killer's dream.
Learn more about "if I go missing" kits in episode 3x02 of "A.P. Bio" streaming now on Peacock (Peacock is part of Oxygen's parent company, NBCUniversal).
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