Navigating the rough terrain of online dating can be hazardous for any woman, but there's something about being a black woman that attracts a special kind of crazy. Here are 11 idiotic messages every black girl who's ever been a member of an online dating site has received.
1. "Ur cute for a black girl. :)"
Don't you just love it when people compliment you while insulting you and your entire race at the same time? No? Me either. This is the backhanded compliment just about every black girl has received at some point in her life. What do these guys expect your response to be? "Oh, thank you! I'm glad you don't think I'm as ugly as you expect most black people to be"? Nah, keep it moving please.
2. "I'm not usually into black girls but ur cute lol"
Because the "lol" at the end makes it somehow less disgusting of a thing to say? Again, no matter how you phrase it, complimenting me by saying that you typically think black people are ugly doesn't make me want to date you. It makes me want to find you and backhand the taste out of your mouth.
3. "I've always wanted to be with a black woman ;)"
Some guys don't even wait for the second message, much less an actual date, to get inappropriate. They seem to actually think they're doing you a favor by offering you a starring role in their sexual fantasies. No thank you.
4. "Ha ha so is it true what they say about black girls and [fill in the the blank]"
Just don't. No. Don't fill in the blank. I'm deleting this message and I wish I could delete your existence too.
5. "Your skin is soooo beautiful. I wish I was black lol"
Like, what's even an acceptable response to that? The first part wouldn't be so bad-- but sharing how you secretly wish you were black, whether you mean it or not, just makes me feel awkward.
6. "[Insert the most randomly racist garbage you can imagine that has nothing to do with you]"
The anonymity of the internet brings out the worst in some people. There are some very angry (and very racist) people out there, and because they can't openly express their hatred in their day-to-day life, they get online, hit the capslock button, and just start letting their hatred spew, unfiltered, at the first black face they see. The internet can be a toxic place.
7. "Wow, you seem really smart, I can't believe you accomplished [insert whatever job or impressive accomplishment may be listed in your profile]"
Well believe it. The fact that a black woman with a job is so outstanding to you is a big red flag.
8. "I don't see color."
One: that's a lie. Two: that's a lie. Saying that you don't see color just means you're privileged enough to never have to think about it. Plus, saying that on a dating website just makes it sound like you're willing to date me even though I'm black. How generous of you.
9. "You're so beautiful, are you Nigerian/Ethiopian/from an island?"
Dude, stop it. You just listed the first African country you thought of. And what's with this idea that black women have to be from somewhere you consider exotic for their beauty to make sense to you?
10. "You look just like [Insert black actress I look nothing like at all]."
Halle Berry, Beyonce, and Lupita Nyongo are all very beautiful women, but you and I both know that I look nothing like them.
11. "Is that your real hair?"
Are. You. Serious??