If having a wedding doesn’t have a nice “ring” to it for you, then good news. You’re not alone. Here are seven celebrities for whom love and marriage don’t go together like a horse and carriage. They need a wedding like a fish needs a bicycle, if you catch my drift. Though, to be fair, a bicycle has even less use for a fish. So… equality. Here's a list of lucky seven celebrities whose wedding invitations you won't be receiving anytime soon.
1. . Oprah!
She’s been going steady with Stedman Graham for somewhere in the ballpark of 30 years, but Hollywood superpower Oprah Winfrey is saying “no” to saying “I do.” In an interview with Access Hollywood she said: “If I had the title ‘wife,’ I think there would be other expectations for what a wife is and what a wife does.” Such as? “First of all, you’ve got to come home sometimes.” Even Tina Turner couldn’t change her mind. At Tina’s wedding, she reportedly told Oprah she simply had to have a wedding, to which Oprah responded: “A wedding is just an excuse to throw a party. What’s love got to do with it?” Just kidding about that last part. Oprah didn’t really say that.
2. . Sarah Silverman
Silverman is an outspoken advocate for same sex marriage, and proudly proclaimed in 2014 on Ellen that she had no intention of getting married until everyone had the right to do so. “I mean it's like joining a country club that doesn't allow Jews or black people. What's the difference?” Now that gay marriage is legal, Silverman insists she still has no intention of tying the knot announcing on Twitter: “Why would I want the govt involved in my love life? Ew. It's barbaric.”
3. . Winona Ryder
She’s dated every brooding bad boy in town including engagements to both Matt Damon andJohnny Depp, but hasn’t ever sealed the deal. She cites her parent’s 43 years of happy marriage as one possible explanation as to why. “That set the bar so high for me. I think it may be why I never got married,” she said in an interview with The Telegraph.
4. . Sheryl Crow
Though briefly engaged to Lance Armstrong, they eventually called the wedding off due to cheating. In bicycle races. Just kidding. According to Crow, undergoing cancer treatment changed her expectations on what her life does or should look like. Shortly thereafter, she adopted the first of her two sons, Wyatt, followed by Levi, who she adopted three years later. In an interview with Good Housekeeping Magazine she said, ”It's better to have three broken engagements than three divorces.” True dat, Cheryl. True dat.
The British comedian has been with main squeeze Jane Fallon for over thirty years but stated on Late Night With David Letterman: “there’s no point in us having an actual ceremony before the eyes of God because there is no God.” Fair point. If I may offer a counter argument…. cake.
6. . Eva Mendes
Star of the 2005 wedding based rom com Hitch, Eva Mendes calls the institution of marriage “very unsexy” and if there’s one thing Eva Mendes knows, it’s how to wrangle a little sex appeal. In an interview with Chelsea Handler, she explained that though she is not politically against marriage, she does see it as an outdated institution with its roots in land ownership rather than romance.
7. . Goldie Hawn
Another celeb who has been in a steady relationship that spans over three decades. Goldie and long time boyfriend Kurt Russell have three children together, but cite not being married as one of the keys to their relationship’s success. According to Hawn: “A lasting relationship isn’t about marriage…it’s about compatibility and communication… It’s also about not losing yourself in each other. Being together, two pillars holding up the house and the roof, and being different, not having to agree on everything, learning how to deal with not agreeing. Everything’s a choice.” Even cheek implants... just sayin...