Until today, I didn’t understand my commitment to my job. Combing through ridiculous celebrity gossip like an old-timey prospector sifting dirt for gold, I see a lot of trash. But nothing prepared me for this “rap song” from Farrah Abraham’s mom, Debra Danielson. Nothing. Not even spending a night with Abraham at a strip club.
Yet, I watched the whole thing, for you, Readers. You deserve to have someone stand between you and this steam-punk sadness nightmare, to help you filter and understand it. Let’s get started.
The “song” was released on Monday, on the Teen Mom 2 live aftershow special. It’s titled “Debz OG.” Don’t know who that is? Don’t worry. She sings, “It's Debz OG. Bet you think you know me. You ain’t seen nothing yet. Allow me to reintroduce myself. Hello, I'm Debra."
Debra also reminds us she’s “more than a mom, TheMom.com, hey DJ, play this song.”
“That’s right, no holding back,” she adds, “Just bang this track all over the map.”
I had to listen to this more than once to write down those “lyrics.”
You know what, it’s fine to take your reality TV money and pay a few guys to write you a terrible song, but please commit to your ridiculousness. While Danielson is wearing a top hat with a feather in it it and leather shorts, her delivery seems half-hearted. Whose idea was this?! It’s such a vanity project, it must be Danielson’s, but she doesn’t appear to be having much fun. She’s cringing at herself!
Danielson, if your daughter is forcing you to do this, blink twice!