Infidelity. It’s a dealbreaker for many, and anyone who’s been cheated on can tell you that it sucks. But are open relationships – arrangements where individuals can have other partners, as long as they’re honest about it – the solution?
Mo’Nique thinks so, and in an interview with True Exclusives, she laid out her feelings on “cheating passes” in relationships: “The person that you stood up [with] and you said ‘for better, for worse, sickness and in health, richer or poorer’ - you took those vows in front of the universe. If you don’t live by them, then maybe you shouldn’t have taken them. And when you say ‘a pass to cheat’… See, when you’re with your best friend and you say to your best friend ‘I’m having these feelings about this person, sexually and I wanna share it with you’… When you’re best friends, you can have those open and honest conversations.”
Mo’Nique continued, “Oftentimes people cheat because of something they’re not getting. But when you have open and honest dialogue and you say we’re just human beings and all these people on the face of the earth, do you think my eyes won’t ever say ‘he’s fine’ or ‘she’s attractive’? Now if you wanna go further with it, let’s be honest enough to have those conversations. What is it about that person that you find that you wanna sleep with? Because they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do. And if that’s the case, how can I be mad? Because I’m not gon’ do it. Should I deprive you of not having it? That’s when the relationship is real.”
She went on to say that modern ideas of cheating are rooted in the Western culture of ownership. “We’ve been taught to have ownership, and that’s the Western way to do it. I’m not sure where you originate from, but I originate from this place called Africa and what I know about African kings—tell me one of them who just had one wife. Do you know any of them? I don’t. That’s where I originate from. So when we came here, we adopted other people’s ways, and that’s called ownership. There was a time when I was owned before. I don’t want to be owned anymore.”
So what’s Mo’Nique’s key to a happy marriage? “Honesty,” she says. “That’s it."
Do you agree with Mo’Nique, or is homegirl out of her mind?