Jas decides to stay in the house despite her lusty foibles. The Clermonts continue to be uninterested in making friends. “Besides Jela, I don't think that any of the other girls are on our level.” What level is that, ladies?
“Jasmine's a fake b*tch and her ass needs to go home. Immediately.” Yikes.
I'm not sure who exactly decided that the best course of action to resolve tension in a house full of miscreants is to visit a deadly reptile, but Jela is not having it. “I feel like I was killed by a snake in a past life. I'm not laughing,” she says as the Twins egg her on. Yeah, this is going to work out just fine.
Lauren is a supportive friend. So if she needs to slut it up with a truck driver from the highway in order to make Jasmine feel less bad about her hook up, SO BE IT! Say what you want about Lauren, but girl's got game. She somehow manages to signal her phone number through the window.
Jela and the Twins drive away from #TeamEveryoneElse. But when the cats are away the other Kat (and team) will play.
When the queens arrive back at the castle, they quickly figure out what the rest of the girls have been up to while they were gone. It's impossible to calculate the amount of damage done to #TeamClerminah's clothes, but we're estimating somewhere in the hundred-thous. Plan backfired.
Fists get thrown almost immediately, but not even security can contain the Clermonts' wrath.
When the Twins realize how extensive the damage to their stuff actually is they are filled with an even more righteous rage and begin a new route of destruction.
After laying waste to most of the house, #TeamClerminah are removed from the mansion for threatening the other girls... and the crew.
The producers step in to reprimand the girls for their too-bad behavior. “We want you guys to think about what you've done,” they say, like scolding parents. Hey, maybe you should have stopped them a little bit before the entire house was destroyed? Just a thought.
Life coach Laura comes to make the girls feel even worse about themselves, but she can't even manage to do that. She forces the survivors to write a letter of apology, although they struggle with the right words. (Probably because they aren't exactly sorry at all.) “It was the right thing to do,” says Jas sarcastically.
Now that that's all settled (or whatever) it's time for Lauren to get it in with her friends from the freeway.
Jas and Kat try and spy on Lauren's getting-it-in. Lauren, unlike Jas, ain't ashamed at all. Fortunately or unfortunately, Christian goes as fast as he comes, if you know what I mean. (You do.) (It means he doesn't last long in bed.) (And Lauren isn't interested in cuddling.)
The new girls' pictures are revealed and Lauren is not interested. “She looks like a bitch and she looks like her name is [inaudible].” LOL
Meet Beatrice: The Red Headed Rebel. Beatrice is a bisexual beauty from Westchester dealing with some tough issues from her past.
Meet Amber: The Dolled Up Dynamite. Amber is a North Philly queen with a sugar daddy to help her get by. Hey, no judgement here. “I like drama, I like to instigate, and I like to stir the pot,” she says.
The new girls kiki while the originals go for batting practice. Jenna somehow manages to pick up some dudes of her own. Y'all b*tches is thirsty.
Beatrice and Kat are already eyeing each other.
The new girls and Jas go out. Jas accidentally makes a few sideways comments about Lauren, catalyzing a whole new set of alliances.
Jenna's too busy bringing home new boys to care about the change in teams. Get it girl!
Amber is not even in the house for a whole day and manages to drive a wedge between Lauren and Jas over a fight that happened weeks ago. Amber wasn't messing around when she said she liked drama.
Lauren and Jas somehow make up, but I've never heard someone tell someone else they love them with such anger in their voice. Prediction: this truce won't last long.