Jas decides to stay in the house despite her lusty foibles. The Clermonts continue to be uninterested in making friends. “Besides Jela, I don't think that any of the other girls are on our level.” What level is that, ladies?
I'm not sure who exactly decided that the best course of action to resolve tension in a house full of miscreants is to visit a deadly reptile, but Jela is not having it. “I feel like I was killed by a snake in a past life. I'm not laughing,” she says as the Twins egg her on. Yeah, this is going to work out just fine.
Lauren is a supportive friend. So if she needs to slut it up with a truck driver from the highway in order to make Jasmine feel less bad about her hook up, SO BE IT! Say what you want about Lauren, but girl's got game. She somehow manages to signal her phone number through the window.
When the queens arrive back at the castle, they quickly figure out what the rest of the girls have been up to while they were gone. It's impossible to calculate the amount of damage done to #TeamClerminah's clothes, but we're estimating somewhere in the hundred-thous. Plan backfired.
The producers step in to reprimand the girls for their too-bad behavior. “We want you guys to think about what you've done,” they say, like scolding parents. Hey, maybe you should have stopped them a little bit before the entire house was destroyed? Just a thought.
Life coach Laura comes to make the girls feel even worse about themselves, but she can't even manage to do that. She forces the survivors to write a letter of apology, although they struggle with the right words. (Probably because they aren't exactly sorry at all.) “It was the right thing to do,” says Jas sarcastically.
Jas and Kat try and spy on Lauren's getting-it-in. Lauren, unlike Jas, ain't ashamed at all. Fortunately or unfortunately, Christian goes as fast as he comes, if you know what I mean. (You do.) (It means he doesn't last long in bed.) (And Lauren isn't interested in cuddling.)
Meet Amber: The Dolled Up Dynamite. Amber is a North Philly queen with a sugar daddy to help her get by. Hey, no judgement here. “I like drama, I like to instigate, and I like to stir the pot,” she says.